The Evil QVC

I was watching the show “Shark Tank” with my perspective daughter-in-law last night. (For those of you who don’t know “Shark Tank” is a show in which people with new businesses come before a group of billionaires and offer as little of their company as they can for investment capital.)  The billionaires want to make as much money off these people as possible if it is a good idea.  Therefore, if they see an opportunity they will offer harsh terms for their money knowing these people are only here because they could not find capitol elsewhere.  If the concept doesn’t appeal to a Shark they opt out of the bidding.  Time after time we watched people with good ideas fumble in front of these self-impressed fat cats because they could not pitch or sell their really good product well.  One of the sharks said she could sell a nail polish product a person was making on QVC in no time.  So the young lady who will one day marry my son turned and asked, “What’s QVC?”  I thought for a moment and said, “The spawn of Satan!”  You can turn on the television and not be able to find the remote.  In the time it takes you find that remote the evil people on that station and its twin, HSN will have you convinced to buy something you not only don’t need but upon reflection don’t really want.  They tell you how great a deal it is and that it can’t last long.  There is a clock counting down in the corner of the screen.  Then there is limited stock.  Another counter is going through the roof.  They get a buyer on the phone who is so happy and they just gush about the product.  Then the salesmen (and women) keep pointing out features and benefits.  This was what my thought process was about a laptop they were selling.  If you could have read my mind this is what you would have heard.  “Hm.  A laptop.  I don’t need one of those…Wow.  That thing looks light.  The guy is just casually holding it open with one hand…Look how thin it is and the screen is so thin and bright…Wow, is that “Finding Nemo” their showing?  It looks awesome on that screen…No way.  It has 1000 gigs of ram?  That’s insane for a laptop…And it comes with a 10 year antivirus and lifetime warranty/service so when I don’t know what to do I can just call them?  If I get a virus they’ll just fix it?...The battery goes for 8 hours…There are 4 colors to choose from; wait one just sold out.  Drat!  I liked that color.  Well the black one’s still pretty cool looking but they’re almost out of that one too?...And it’s only $499.99 for the whole thing with free shipping and handling.  I know I’ve seen more expensive ones than that in the store because I just bought a new desktop a few months back and they were way more expensive…Hang on.  In 30 minutes the price goes up $100…This is too good a deal to pass up.”  I explained every part to my young counterpart and realized she knew as much about computers as I do about rocket science.  She asked if I was getting it.  I paused and realized this was meant to be an example of how they sell on this station and here I was ready to open my wallet.  After changing the channel I sat for a minute and realized what I had almost done.  Man, these people are good at their job.  Like I said, the Spawn of Satan!  I gotta get my books on there.