Zombies @Solsticepublish

I was just watching “World War Z” and I started to think.  Since the whole Zombie Apocalypse is a popular theme these days it seems like there are major questions that need to be raised.  Wouldn’t they starve to death?  You never see them eat anything in these movies.  But I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt on that one.  Let’s just say they eat humans.  If they change them into zombies by biting them then wouldn’t their meal change while they chewed?  So maybe they eat other zombies.  I don’t buy that one either.  In no zombie movie do they ever turn on each other.  It’s sort of like a zombie fraternity.  They seem to stick together.  I know I’ve touched on this next topic before but why do they never get cold?  Is zombie season only in the summer?  They don’t dress warmly and don’t seem to put much thought into their apparel.  That’s going to lead to some really cold zombies come winter in the colder climates.  Why don’t they dehydrate in the heat?  They never seem to stop for a drink.  Even though they’re “Undead” and all, their human bodies must need some sort of replenishment.  What do they do in their spare time?  You never see them sleep.  Being a zombie has to be a pretty boring life.  When you’re not chasing one of the few healthy humans around you seem satisfied spending your time walking aimlessly around parking lots.  It’s kind of like when Laser Pink Floyd lets out in the real world.  It sounds pretty boring.  “Hey, it’s night time.  No humans around.  I guess I’ll stumble about…Hey, its morning.  No humans around.  Maybe I’ll stumble over here.”  Sounds dull.  Maybe they’ll finish off the humans and start their own entertainment.  They could make shows like “Survivor – Zombie World”, “The Amazing Zombie Race” and “Dancing with the Zombies.”  Although it might be hard to make that work since zombies seem to have no interest in television.  If they were bored enough they could always play “Catch the Human” with one of them pretending to be the human and the others giving chase.  The zombie idea is played out.  With sincere regards to my friends who write in that genre, the suspension of disbelief is simply not there anymore.  We’ve had zombies who can’t be killed, zombies who can’t handle sunlight, zombies who eat the dead, zombies who have to be burned and zombies who can fall in love.  That pretty much covers the zombie gamut.  Sadly, good storylines are often replaced by CGI effects and makeup.  It’s time for something different.  As readers and watchers we need something that is either realistic in the “This could really happen” arena or the other end entirely like Tolkien where it’s a totally different world with totally different rules and you can set your imagination free.  I know where my vote goes.