Christmas Future

Christmas has come and gone once again.  Many things are the same as usual while others are not.  The caramel apples wrapped for the stockings were once again a success.  The fruit in said stockings was not.  I put far too much thought into my gifts I gave and missed the mark as often as I hit.  The expensive foot massager for my wife was a particular flop.  The new IPhone for my oldest daughter was a huge success.  Then I bought a new case for my younger daughter’s cell phone only to discover Christmas Eve that her phone had just died and we had to order her a new one.  The postage to send the case back was going to be as much as the refund on the case so here I sit with a case I can’t use.  It’s not a huge financial loss but it was a gift I had planned for months and was now pointless.  Waste always bothers me.  The school apparel from our alma mater was a hit with the wife.  Overall the family was pleased with the day.  As I watched them rummage through their stockings and tear open wrapping paper we snapped photos.  I started thinking it wouldn’t be long before my oldest wants to move away.  My second oldest goes to college next year and plans to go to the East Coast, as far in the continental U.S. as possible from us.  Who knows if she will even be home for Christmas next year?  When I was in college the last thing I ever wanted to do was come home.  That would leave just my youngest daughter with my wife and me.  As I watched the family laughing and having a merry time I could not help but wonder what it was like for my parents when they had their first Christmas with no one to wake them up and beg them to open stockings.  What was it like not to have the big breakfast with all the artery-clogging food?  Did they wait by the phone for calls from us so they knew they were not forgotten in the season of giving?  No pile of presents was under the tree.  They just had each other.  What was that like?  Now it is just my father…alone.  It has been 5 years since Mom died.  I always call Dad on Christmas but he is sullen and does not want to talk.  Our calls last 5-7 minutes at best.  It hardly seems worth the “Call Canada” plan I pay for every month but there is always that hope that he will want to converse longer.  Perhaps he is missing Mom…or the family…or his degrading health has left him uncomfortable talking for long.  For one reason or another, he is hurting, especially at Christmas and one day that man is going to be me.  How I will miss the days of being asked to put the batteries in some toy.  Will my children carry on my traditions or start new ones of their own?  Will I see them on Christmas or will I be a 5-7 minute call?  I cannot choose the paths my children will walk.  All I can do is enjoy the time when they are on my path and build memories to fill the possible empty years ahead.  Even if my wife and I end up alone, we will have our treasure chest of memories to soften the blow.